tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2319453613836766610.post655997900368188626..comments2023-10-23T23:35:22.776+02:00Comments on Cross Words: Help With Book BlurbTed Crosshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09022309459554237650noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2319453613836766610.post-17825243947374740402015-02-28T16:59:22.605+01:002015-02-28T16:59:22.605+01:00Okay, Ted, here it is: http://nelsonagency.com/blo...Okay, Ted, here it is: http://nelsonagency.com/blog-pitch-workshop-part-i/<br /><br />Using that, I revised the beginning of my blurb to the following:<br />Quyloc knows it’s a trap as soon as he hears the screams of the tortured man. Every man in the squad knows it too, including their commander, Wulf Rome. Quyloc also knows there’s no point in arguing: Rome will lead them in anyway and not a single soldier will refuse. Wulf Rome doesn’t leave men behind. It’s what his men love about him.<br /><br />And it wasn't until afterwards that I tried to draw a bit of a larger picture about what is going on in the world. I hope this helps and best of luck with your writing. I am interested in checking out your novel when it comes out in May.<br />EricAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2319453613836766610.post-6253311645143542062015-02-28T16:53:54.048+01:002015-02-28T16:53:54.048+01:00First, I want to say that I feel your pain. I can&...First, I want to say that I feel your pain. I can't tell you how many versions I have written for my fantasy series. It's agonizing. As for yours: I think the first paragraph works really well. I think the second paragraph is way too dense. I got lost in it. I've done a lot of versions similar to yours and had the same problems. Recently I read an agent's blog that talked about this and I really liked one of her ideas. Maybe it will help you as well. Let me find it and I'll get back to you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2319453613836766610.post-85695965051168289682015-02-20T13:44:28.137+01:002015-02-20T13:44:28.137+01:00Thank you. I also didn't like how awkward that...Thank you. I also didn't like how awkward that part felt, along with giving away some info, but I worried that without it the readers would wonder just what exactly is causing this noble to worry about his sons anymore than any other person. That's why this is so darned hard!Ted Crosshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09022309459554237650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2319453613836766610.post-43311893454828901412015-02-20T13:41:12.334+01:002015-02-20T13:41:12.334+01:00The second paragraph is a tricky one. Seems like t...The second paragraph is a tricky one. Seems like too much information is there, although I'm sure it can't be dropped. Maybe you could drop at least some information, like for example "after losing his heir in a tragic accident" because I'd like to find out about that accident from the book but not the blurb. I'm not sure if you should put it as a list. Ivanushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08990041842502452132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2319453613836766610.post-81771788484779510862015-02-19T18:33:44.682+01:002015-02-19T18:33:44.682+01:00Alex, I know that second block of text looks big, ...Alex, I know that second block of text looks big, but I am not sure how to cut it down without eliminating key members of the group. I'll try to think of something. Thanks!Ted Crosshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09022309459554237650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2319453613836766610.post-77935626576759666662015-02-19T17:47:16.713+01:002015-02-19T17:47:16.713+01:00It definitely interests me. I like the way it begi...It definitely interests me. I like the way it begins. Maybe compact it a little? Yeah, I hate writing the blurb as well. I won't even tell you how many times mine are revised.Alex J. Cavanaughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770065693345181702noreply@blogger.com