Almost all stories have some sort of underlying message, in many cases more than one. I touch on many issues in my fantasy novel, from women's rights to evolution to religion to racism. However, there is one true emotional undercurrent to my book, and it is based upon my own greatest fear in life.
In my story, the main character has certain expectations to meet, from his duty to the king to his own expectations on how to properly prepare his children for life. These expectations are offset by his tremendous fear for the safety of his children, especially since he already experienced the death of his eldest son in a manner for which he holds himself responsible.
This ties in exactly with my greatest nightmare, which is a fear of something bad happening to one or both of my sons. As logical and sane as I consider myself to be, I cannot imagine what I would do if something happened to them. I feel like I would lose my mind and no longer want to live. So, I poured some of that fear into the story line of my main character, only I had him actually have to confront the reality of his fears coming true, not just with the original death of his eldest, but later with his youngest son also dying. I have to admit that I cannot read that part of the story without tearing up a bit. I read it aloud to my family and I had to pause when I reached that scene. I sure hope I never have to face this fear during my life.
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Josh and Lizzy
13 hours ago
I think we all place part of ourselves in our work.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Though, I have to say, I don't think I could read your book knowing both sons die. How heartbreaking!
ReplyDeleteI definitely cried at certain points in writing my own MS, but I knew there would be a good ending, that the pain in the interim would be worth it in the end. Unfortunately, we have no assurance in life that there's a happy ending. Not on this earth, anyway.
Writing can be cathartic, allowing you to deal with your fears and regrets in a "safe" environment. It's part of the lure of the page for me!
Cyndi
Cyndi,
ReplyDeleteThere is some redemption within the story, as the son who appeared to be the weakest not only survives but really grows up. I needed some ray of hope there for it to be worth it.
The fears in your book is in line with the fears of a lot of readers. I remember my oldest son, waking up one night and coming into my room to find his brother. He'd gone to his brother's room after a nightmare that he was taken by zombies and had to make sure his brother was alright. When he wrote his first short story, it was about him saving his brother - go figure :-D
ReplyDeleteAs a parent myself, I would find that hard to read, let alone write. I hope none of us have to face this!
ReplyDeleteSandra, while I agree that this is a tough theme, I am also tired of fantasy writers taking a pass on tackling the hard issues that literary fiction writers can take on with no problem. I want to see some serious fantasy.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a very good thing when authors put their own real emotion into a story; it makes it all the more believable. I wouldn't really be able to relate to the material, but I'd be able to see the real emotion that's been put into it.
ReplyDeleteI think as parents that is a universal nightmare. You're very brave to write about it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sending you a quick email on a non-relevant topic.
I definitely have that fear, and often have nightmares about my son being in danger. We nearly lost him before he was born, and the doctor told me that he and the other doctors had no idea why he survived. I believe it was a miracle. So, after he was born, when I felt the same overwhelming responsibility you've described, I told God: "This child is yours. You gave him to me, and I know I am just borrowing him for as long as you choose to let me enjoy him. I am leaving the burden on you to help me raise him, and make him a godly man."
ReplyDeleteLike Hannah in the Bible, the prophet Samuel's mother, he is my only son and I have dedicated him to the Lord. What happens after that is just God working through me, as long as I am faithful to do what I feel to be right.
(I didn't drop him off at the temple and leave him there, however. But there are times I'm tempted to!)
Another thought: I believe that we in the United States have a distorted view of death because we live such long, healthy and comfortable lives compared to the rest of the world. We have a hard time accepting mortality, when we should be very philosophical about it. We are lucky for every day we have, and it is counterproductive to either fear or resent the end of our time on Earth. What will be will be, so appreciate life now!
ReplyDeleteoh man. that's my worst fear too. i don't think anything would be worse than losing one of my boys.
ReplyDeleteI have no children, but I can only try to imagine how losing a child must feel. This is a hard topic, congratz on writing on it.
ReplyDeleteI share the opinion that fantasy writers shouldn't shy from these difficult themes. Any fantasy taking place in another world brings a certain distance, but our characters remain profoundly human (I don't mean races here), and when you approach a theme like the loss of an infant, you remind your readers of this.
Because we have magic and elves and dwarves does not mean we cannot touch these topics with the same skill and depth than other contemporary writers.
Gah! Where's the spoiler alert for your beta readers!
ReplyDeleteOkay, I'm over that part now.
But I hear you. Almost every single one of my stories has some of my own angst wrapped up in it. I've written the child-loss scenes too, and it hurts every time.
That's where the real gold is, though. If it hurts us to write it, it might just hurt the reader to read it. In a good way.
Keep on keeping on, good sir.
Sorry, Simon! I didn't think about spoilers.
ReplyDeleteIt takes a lot of courage to write the death of a beloved character. Especially one that they can compare to someone in their own life. But if the story calls for someone to die, it's cheap to leave it out. Bravo for having the courage to write the hard stuff.
ReplyDeleteHow true it is that we pour our own emotions, fears, hopes and desires into our stories - if not all the time, then at least sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI have noticed that my own creative works (flash fiction and short stories) so often reflect my emotional or spiritual state at the moment. When I am feeling spiritually lost and disconnected, my stories turn out with a note of desperation which only those who are really listening can hear and realize belongs to ME and not just my MC.
I haven't read your book yet, but it sounds intriguing. I like to see fantasy novels that don't take the easy way out, that take chances and are full of real heart and soul - and it sounds like yours is.
Shiv, I haven't 'met' you here before, so welcome and thanks for commenting!
ReplyDeleteI won't use kids in my books. Like yourself, its a very emotional matter that's difficult to deal with. So I create a fairly large cast of characters from which I can select to be murder victims. Eleven in my first book alone. Many more to come in the other two.
ReplyDeleteStephen Tremp