Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Blood & Gore Blogfest Entry

I so wanted to try doing a Blogfest for the first time, but I am getting swept up in too many things right now. I wanted to call it something like Blood & Gore Blogfest, or perhaps simply Gorefest. The idea was to post a scene that gets good and bloody.

I'll go ahead and present the scene I meant to use. My party has a decent number of members, so please forgive the names, but basically they are trapped within a vast dark mountain city that used to belong to the dwarves but has been abandoned for eight centuries. Since the main exit was blocked, they are attempting to make their way through the mountain to escape through the other exit. They haven't run into too much trouble yet...

The main character is the minor noble Midas, while Sol is the higher ranking noble and is in charge. Fridrik is Midas's squire. There is a group of warriors with Icelandic names; this is because they are descended from an Icelandic geneticist who arrived with the other scientists from Earth 6,000 years before. Xax is the only remaining scientist left (at least as far as he knows).


*****
It wasn’t long before all were asleep except for the sentries. Midas heard snores and his own shallow breathing, but nothing else. He was far more tired than he expected and had to fight to keep his eyes open. Suddenly he realized that Fridrik was kneeling next to him.

“Milord,” the squire hissed. “Did you hear something?”

Before he could say ‘no’, Midas heard a soft, distant echo from the hallway. “I heard that,” he said. “Is that what you heard?”

“Something like that, milord, only from my own passage.”

Midas straightened up, fully awake now. More noises echoed through the halls, louder this time and continuous. Midas distinctly heard a guttural shout followed by hoots and howls. He leapt to his feet and began shaking people awake.

“Up! Up!” he shouted. Fridrik joined in the shouting. When a dwarf refused to wake, Midas kicked him in the buttocks. “Get up!”

“All right already!” growled the dwarf, who turned out to be Valgorn. “What--”

The dwarf stopped, as shouting and clanking sounds filled the room. Valgorn jumped up and grabbed his morning star. “Goblins!” he shouted. “I'd recognize those sounds anywhere!”

Midas ran to his sons. “Get your shields ready, boys. Stay to the side of the room as reinforcements. You are not to enter the fray unless there's no choice, you hear me?”

He waited for them to nod before continuing, “They’re coming from both sides. Roll up blankets and tie them to packs. We may have to leave in a hurry. Keep your heads down! I don’t want you taking a stray arrow in the face.”

Midas turned and joined Sol, who was organizing the fighters into groups. To the west side of the room he sent Kiddi, Bragi, Ulfr and Gorm to form a shield wall across the passage. Next he indicated that he himself would lead the defense of the eastern passage. He chose Midas, Fridrik, and Dalthis to join him.

“Ismar,” yelled Sol to the big swordsman, “you back up your fellows on the west passage. Sir Brindor, you back us up here.”

“What about me?” shouted Valgorn. “I should be up front!”

“You’ll have more than your share of fighting, Valgorn,” Sol replied. “I need you to be our cavalry charge when needed. If you see our line give anywhere, you must run in to fill the gap, okay?”

Valgorn growled loudly, but didn’t argue.

The sound of many running feet echoed loudly now and a faint glow of torchlight appeared far down the hallway. Sol was nearly out of time. He turned to Alvanaria. “Milady, we need you as archery support. Xax, do whatever you can. Perhaps you can help any wounded.” Sol didn’t wait to hear any replies; he turned and rushed to the gap next to Midas, who anchored the left side of the line.

Just as Sol raised his shield to lock it with Midas’s, swarms of goblins appeared down the corridor, rushing full speed at the men and shrieking madly.

“Wait for it!” Sol screamed. “You know what to do!”

The four warriors locked their shields together and all of them hunched down slightly. Just before the wave of goblins arrived, the men roared and launched themselves forward. The shield wall slammed hard into the first wave of attackers. The impact of the goblins on the shields was tremendous, but the men held, only dropping back a single step before surging forward again.

Midas smelled blood. He kept his head down below the rim of his shield and shoved forward with all his strength. He heard an arrow whip by above his head followed by a strangled scream. When a gap opened up between his shield and Sol’s, Midas shoved his sword blade through and felt it punch into something soft. When he withdrew the blade there was blood on the tip.

“Recover!” shouted Sol.

As one, the four men took a step back, then just as quickly raised the shield wall and rammed it forward again, eliciting shrieks of pain from the mass of goblins. Midas heard terrible cries from behind as well, but he had no time to check on the progress of his comrades across the room. More arrows hissed by, this time in both directions. One thudded hard into Midas’s shield. There were more screams from the goblins, and Midas grinned at the thought that the goblin archers had struck some of their own.

An axe slammed hard into his shield. He angled the shield slightly to the left and used the small gap to skewer the axe bearer. He flung the sword up to parry a strike by another goblin. The goblin’s curved blade snapped when it met his, and Midas brought his sword down onto the goblin’s neck. It cuts so easily, he thought. It’s almost unfair to fight with such a weapon! A goblin leapt onto the top of his shield and snarled in his face. He saw the glint of hatred in the creature’s eyes, and its fetid breath made him want to choke. He snapped his head forward, smashing his helm into the goblin’s nose. It howled in outrage as it fell back out of sight.

The floor became slick with blood. Sol cursed loudly, and Midas saw blood sheeting down into Sol’s eyes from a long cut on his forehead.

“Fall out, Sol!” he cried. “Brin! Take his place!”

The four warriors shoved hard on their shields to gain some room. Sol stumbled back out of line. Shrieks of glee erupted from the nearest goblins and they tried to pour through the gap. Midas hacked one in the neck and saw Fridrik slice one across the belly. With a loud cry, Brin leapt into place next to Midas and closed up the shield wall.

When his feet nearly slipped from beneath him, Midas cried out, “Valgorn! We have to move back; the floor’s too slick.”

He heard a growled shout from behind: “Bring it on!”

Midas shouted, “Two steps back, men, now!”

The four fighters strode backward onto firmer footing. The goblins smelled victory and howled louder than ever. For the moment they had room to slip around the sides of the shield wall.

“Spread!” roared Valgorn.

Midas stepped to his left, bringing his shield close to the wall again. Brin stayed with him. Fridrik and Dalthis went the other direction, leaving a gap in the center of the line. With a terrible roar, Valgorn bowled into the gap with his shield up. He slammed his morning star down onto the head of a goblin, crushing it and spattering brains and bits of skull all about.

The goblins broke and ran.

13 comments:

  1. Oh crap. I wanted to skip reading this, because it feels spoilerish considering I'm reading your chapters during crits, but I couldn't help myself.

    I second Alex's notion.

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  2. Thanks, guys. I keep thinking there is more I needed to explain, such as why Midas's sword is special. Oh well! I just wanted something with more action than I have been giving so far.

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  3. Oh, I was also wondering if I would get fewer women to read this, considering the nature of it, so I wonder if it is just coincidence that it is two guys who commented first?

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  4. Make that three guys....

    And nice action scene, good sir. Gotta love when Valgorn charges in. Nothing like a pissed off dwarf to cause some mayhem underground. :)

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  5. Oh wow. You can't get bloodier than that. This is really good. And yes, there are some women who love this stuff.

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  6. ok, first off!!! SEXIST!!! UGH!

    ok- now to the excerpt! i thought it was very good (like everything i've read of yours!) this was my favorite bit:

    The goblin’s curved blade snapped when it met his, and Midas brought his sword down onto the goblin’s neck. It cuts so easily, he thought. It’s almost unfair to fight with such a weapon! A goblin leapt onto the top of his shield and snarled in his face. He saw the glint of hatred in the creature’s eyes, and its fetid breath made him want to choke. He snapped his head forward, smashing his helm into the goblin’s nose. It howled in outrage as it fell back out of sight.

    the action there was just so vivid... i could see it, feel it, and smell it!!
    good one ted... even if you are sexist!

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  7. oh! and this wasn't too gory for my female sensabilites... i managed to eat while reading the whole thing and not get grossed out once... (can't say the same for neverwhere, though) :)

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  8. Ah, come now, Victoria! I don't mean it to sound sexist. I have met women who love this stuff (some have even read it already). You and I both know that there are more women than men who don't like it, though, and speaking truth isn't being sexist.

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  9. you know, i was teasing about the sexist stuff right? :)

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  10. I was hoping! Thank you for reading.

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  11. From your first comment Ted: OMG, no - please don't clutter this scene up with any more explanation! Whatever you need to do to explain the specialness of Midas' sword show come before or after this scene.

    This is one of the most satisfying fight scenes I've ever read. I know I know, I'm a girl. But I love battle scenes - at least those that are well done. And this goes well past well done. I see myself returning again and again to this novel because of this very scene.

    Seriously Dude; I love blood and gore. Not just for the sake of it, but inside a scene where it is called for, please don't stint on the gore. Bring it on.

    I wasn't impressed with the movie 300 because it seemed all they did was slo-mo the droplets of blood. Not appealing. The movie bored me and I don't ever expect to watch the whole thing in on sitting.

    But Braveheart, The Patriot, Last of the Mohicans, Gladiator . . Those type movies, yeah, appropriate blood splatter. Several fantasy books I read have appropriate blood splatter in them also.

    This scene ranks with my favorite published works. Too many great lines in this, but I'll pick one that sums up my pleasure in this writing:

    "There were more screams from the goblins, and Midas grinned at the thought that the goblin archers had struck some of their own."

    Me likey-like and want some more. Oh yeah!

    .......dhole

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  12. Donna, you made my day! You'll be happy to know that this is just the tip of the iceberg. The action starts here, and with a couple of breathers goes almost non-stop through to a tremendous battle to end the book.

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